Winter Thoughts

 Maybe I was sent back here to face the reality

Warmth is when your hand touches my hand and we become warm

It is when loneliness meets loneliness and become coziness

When sadness meets sadness and become happiness

When cool breeze collides against another cool breeze and become a soft snow. That's what warmth is

Has life turned to the worst? Russia-Ukraine war is not their problem. It is our problem. Do you think it won't affect the prices? It already does. How this affect me? Well, I don't believe that the situation in EU is that better to be frank. I used to think to continue my study overseas for my PhD and settle there. But what can I do with this uncertainty.

My plan for PhD is kinda... vague at this point. I don't even have any good reason to do so. Why do I even want to go out there? There are some things that are obvious already;

1. I don't like my current place and situation. The environment, the people, the research facilities at the workplace, the life quality. The only good things are the foods and the fruits. Bountiful tropical fruits and I just eat bananas and pineapples, with occasional papayas. (Since those are the easiest to obtain)
2. No complains about my salary. It is okay (for now at least)
3. I just don't think that I'd like to settle with those people. Nope. Noppity. NOPE. (academia as in business side, duh. But I guess this happens everywhere)

Not very convincing reasons to do a PhD, huh? There is no reason for me to take a PhD except my duty as a lecturer in a private campus here that doesn't even care about research. Fuck. All they care about is rank and rank is everything since it lures the students (esp. who failed to enter the best national universities.). Accreditation and all shitty criterions the gov't and the ranking institutions set on the paper really grinds my gears. First of all, I am mainly here to teach and do research with some sprinkle of administrative duties. That's all fine until the reality is that teaching preparation for each class takes around a day (like a day or two just to rehearse and re-learn one session's material). Doesn't sound too bad? Wait until they set you to teach 3 courses a semester.