October - Carry Your Own

The results of my first experiment are here. There are a lot of numbers to analyze. My previous supervisor from back when I was doing my master study contacted me asking if there's any common interest between my current supervisor with hers. During the lab meeting I talked about that to my supervisor, and I acted as the 'cupid' for both through an informal email that contains two links (the funding and lab homepage of my previous supervisor). The day ended with an invitation to celebrate Umo's sister's birthday. We went to a sushi restaurant that is going to be out-of-business next month. Honestly, it was not bad. There were a lot of people still coming. They've run the place since 2005. Why are they closing the place? Lastly, we had ice cream nearby. The Dutch Choco flavor is so good.

Another lesson not to hate people too much (or even don't). Second Tuesday of October, I went to the campus after a nice long weekend of which just ended. As usual, I had arrived around 6.30 and walked up the stairs (emergency stairs) towards the student room. However, the door was locked, and I had no elevator access (which I had supposed to have it from the time I get the ID card). I called the security asking if they could open it but they insisted me to wait for another hour. I decided to wait near the entrance door. Half an hour later, another student came into the building, and I asked her if I can follow her up. Unfortunately, she also had no access. We were f-ed. We moved to another level and waited there. Almost 15 minutes later, a guy from my lab came to get a coffee or milk (idk). The guy who I despised since he thinks that he owns a GPU and therefore no one may use it even though he is not using it. He ended up being the hero that morning. A voice in my head:

How do you feel accepting a help from someone who you despised? Don't you feel the shame?

Lately I feel that my supervisor just becoming more and more busy as his room is more often closed than opened compared to my first months there. Perhaps this is due to his recent promotion to assoc. prof., or perhaps it is already Q4 of the year. You know, administrative shit. What I'm afraid of is that he has become too busy by that time I have not been fully independent yet.

We celebrated Umo's aunt's birthday. We had Nando's grilled chicken. Umo's cousin got a job at a cafe for 22AUD hourly. It is not much but the place is slow paced, which perfectly suits her. Let's do some calculation. If my hourly rate is 50AUD and assuming that I work 40 hours per week, it means that I will get 2k AUD weekly, which translates to 8k monthly. Damn, it is a very nice number. Although 40h work is not my style.

It is almost the end of the month. As the summer is approaching, I found myself to use the train almost daily. My reason is that I don't want to be exposed to the sun when I am walking down the bridge to the campus. However, train journey takes a bit longer than bus.

This week, Jen's grandma from her father side passed away. Then it triggers some thoughts in my head. In the past few days, I've been thinking about my hypothetical life had I stayed in Japan, had I finished my PhD there. I'd been thinking if I got a job there right after the completion, live there, and do the daily life like I used to in that 2.5 years period. Then I got jealous of my friends and all the people I know that are currently got a job in Japan and settle there. When I almost dragged down to the pit, a loud inaudible voice appeared. 

Now I will give you the chance to be like them, to be in in their position and get what they get. In exchange, you have to follow their very steps, bear their burdens, and face their struggles, would you take that?

That voice makes me realize once again, to be grateful of the path I'm walking. It is not that bad. Not that perfect either, but this is the path I choose. This is the pace I am comfortable with. I have enough to cover my needs. So what? Why do you want more than you would bear? At that point, I immediately stopped being jealous and those lingering thoughts are gone.

Every fourth Friday, the school held a free lunch for all. As usual, my supervisor never joined. I did some readings and ran some additional experiments to make a simple comparison to the current proposed method. That day, I carried my bike with me riding the train. But in the afternoon, I wanted to ride my bike to go back. So I did. My first 15km in this city. It took 50 minutes from the parking to the house. I kinda like it, but for obvious reason, I will not ride my bike to the campus. Way too tiring and time wasting.

Gold price went crazy, but it calmed down a bit since Trump won the election.

September

Went to Straddie with Umo. We saw whales, dolphins, turtles, kangaroos. Bought gelato and milkshake-of-regret. Its taste was not worth the price, my bad. The gelato was nice. Quite pricey though (13.2AUD). The next day I started to grade for 67 literature review assignments. My maximum limit for my brain per day is only 10. Hence, to avoid frying my brain and neglecting the research for too long, I decided to ask two of my friends, one is in Italy pursuing his PhD and another one is my previous student who is currently working (internship) at a private bank. Each of them had 10 essays to mark. Thus, I can finish the marking in roughly 4 days. One more thing that I am grateful of is that some of those students are not submitting anything (or dropped out?), which makes my grading even faster.

I just realized that the attendance is not a mandatory thing as it is in developing countries. The students will not come to the class unless we (the lecturers/school) make it mandatory. The reason is that the courses are mostly recorded and uploaded. Therefore, the only thing that matters to them is finishing their assignments and do well enough on the exams. This caused my teaching schedule to be very rare (a.k.a. less money earned) which luckily compensated by doing data entry for that unit.

For the second assignment marking, I did it myself because the rubric is far less complicated than the first one. The assignment was only 5-minute video submission with only three grading criteria. However, the allocated time is half than the previous one. 

Need to lodge the tax (both here and there.)

August - 'fortune' in misfortune

This month I moved to a new place. It is much cheaper. The monthly rent was 220AUD pw and now it becomes 180AUD pw. The house and amenities are not as modern as the previous place. But the key is the people inside. When I first moved to Oz, I thought I'd be better if I stayed with people with the same nationality. Maybe I was just unlucky to meet them, but really, I cannot stand people who are disrespectful to others. I've done ranting in my previous post. Thus, I won't do it here. 

Research wise, perhaps one thing that I am grateful of (and despise at the same time) is waiting. Looking back to when I was pursuing my master degree, I always took the chance of the long wait (be it training, waiting for paper review, etc.) to just go somewhere with my bike or learn a new food recipe.

Early in this month, I got two book recommendations: "The Humans" by Matt Haig and "Freedom from The Known" by Jiddu Khrisnamurti. I have other books ("Notes from Underground" and "Crime and Punishment" both by Fyodor Dostoyevsky) that I want to read but actually already know the summary as I am not that patient enough to read those for the time being.

For the past 4 weeks I have been waiting for my scripts to run, which apparently faulty and even that it could be fixed, it doesn't matter anymore. The reason is that because I found a faster method that works almost like magic. This irritates me, since I feel like my time wasted on waiting was gone for nothing. Had I known that this new method exists, I could've sped up the progress of my research at least twice as fast. But hey, wait a minute. If I didn't wait that long, if the previous method worked flawlessly, would I even bother to look for something else? I guess the answer is obvious. Just like my previous place. Had they not increased the rent, would I even think to find somewhere cheaper?

I guess my experience this month mimics the story of a Chinese Farmer (or whatever the title is) by Alan Watts *I am not sure whether he is the original author or not. 

“You never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.” 

 

First Four Months Recap

Well, it has been so very long since the last time I write anything about my life. But I'd like to put some notes here just to recap my first three months here in Australia as a PhD student. There will be some details missing for sure. I'm not even sure whether my memory still serves me right.

Mid-March

I arrived in this Koala land on May 20th, somewhere around 15.15. The flight was delayed a little bit. I have a feeling that I've written about this in the previous post. The first two weeks was filled with administrative things. Opening bank account, creating student and staff ID card (yes, PhD students are regarded as staff here), registering for concession fare for the GoCard (similar to Suica/Pasmo/Icoca in Jp), finishing some mandatory parts of the enrollment.

A little story when I went to the nearby branch of a bank to create a student account. The officer asked several questions but there are questions that feels so much like an interrogation rather than opening an account. I told him that I hadn't even been there for 24 hours, so I don't know how much I will spend a month or whatever. He kept asking for things like that, whether I will get a job or some sort. But when I told him that I am coming as a PhD student, he softened. He told me that his parents also have PhD. I don't care. I don't like how he treated me like that.

After opening the bank account, I went to campus to meet my supervisor in person for the first time. He took me around and we had a chat for an hour or so. He briefed me about the overall PhD program and what I will be doing, and he took the chance to offer me a tutoring job. But I told him at that moment to wait until the next several months (preferably 6 months) so that I will have some time to build a strong foundation to my research first before I do something else. 

April

The first month. Most of the time I spent preparing the documents for stage-2 proposal. Something that precedes the confirmation seminar. Stage-2 just show how much we know or at least able to plan a research project. But by the end of April, a course began which mainly consisted of two assignments. The assignments are basic, it is not hard, but I cannot say it is easy because the meticulous detail regarding the scoring rubric. Oh, I also made a bike shelter access card. It is a secured bike parking at a few points so that I can store my bike and continue my journey by bus. It will be rarely used, but it is really a nice thing to have.

May

I am enrolled into a mandatory course which designed for PhD and master by research students. It is basically a course where we are all expected to have a certain standard of creating research question, finding sources of literature using databases, and evaluating the papers to find if that paper has any contribution to the research question(s). Sounds easy? Not really. I spent a lot of time making sure that I miss nothing on the assessment rubric.

June

I finished a book, Sophie's World, a book about philosophy by Jostein Gaarder. The content itself is engaging and served in a linear timeline. It mainly focuses on Western philosophies from ancient Greek to modern era. It sadly doesn't cover about the Eastern philosophers. For the sake of simplicity, the book only talks about several key people for each era. As the result, alternative philosophers like Diogenes are only briefly covered. It is a nice book to read if the reader has no background about philosophy, or people who just want to know the development of Western philosophy throughout the history.

This month I received my first assignment result, which is unfortunately got an unsatisfactory score. But that was fine. They gave us (failures) the second chance. After I revised the assignment, I got satisfactory score. But there is still one more assignment that I had just submitted. Hopefully the result is satisfactory so that I can focus on my research more.

I went to Mt.Gravatt alone with my bike. The trail is not long, the mountain (or I just want to say that it is just a hill) is not that high. That makes the trail is not long, but steep. I arrived at the top around 4pm waited until 5.30pm to see the sunset. It was a nice, small place, and we could see the city from there. But since it was my first time, I was so afraid to go down as I am not really familiar to the place yet. Lucky for me there was this one cyclist up there and he was kind enough to let me follow him to the base. The route he took was the opposite from where I supposed to be heading, but for safety reason I believe a little detour is acceptable at that point.

July 

I got lucky. Both of my assignments got satisfactory mark (it is not a full score though) but fuck it. I just want to get rid of it. The main tenant (the one who rent the whole house) decided to raise my rent fee per August. Sounds so disrespectful. I mean, the current price 220pw for what I got and where it's located is already ok. I cannot complain too much. But if they decided to raise it to 250pw, it loses its value. Hence, I looked around and realized one thing:

"Being closer to campus does not make your trip any faster"

There are four main points when I look for an accommodation:

1. Access to public transport. Especially from and to the campus.
2. The place itself. Does the rent fee include all the bills? Is it clean? Does anyone smoke? Any place to hang my laundry safely? How big is the room? How much storage does it have? How good is the ventilation?
3. Is it located too close to big road or train tracks? Noise pollution is not something I desire at any price point.
4. The people inside. This cannot be controlled. Only God knows.

I got a place 15-minute cycling from my current place. It is owned by a mid-aged Taiwanese man. The price is 40 AUD cheaper than my current weekly rent. It is an old house, but for that price, I cannot complain. The room comes with window AC, it is spacious. The kitchen in old houses still uses the electric stove top with exposed heating elements unlike the modern ones which usually offer flat tops. There is no place to hang my laundry safely when it is raining. Thus, I can only wash my laundry when the weather is nice, which I usually do. The best thing is that the place is only 10 minutes walking to the bus stop which can take me directly to the campus. It is also the same road that crosses the cheap Asian shopping center and ultimately, the church and train station for bonus. Pretty strategic I should say. I hope nobody is smoking.

But why do I decide to move out? The price hike is not really the main issue here. The main tenant in my current place are siblings. They are both working and only home less than 12 hours a day. I almost own the whole place by myself. The house itself is pretty convenient, well lit, quiet, and well ventilated. The problem? My neighbor is noisy and rarely takes bath. He plays game at night and make loud noises. The siblings are the real pain in the ass when it comes to cleaning. They don't open the windows when cooking, they never clean after cooking, and worst of all, whenever they cook, the stovetops are full of oil splatters and whatever. Oh, I almost forgot that no one in this house put their dishes nicely after washing it. The result? The drying rack is a mess as it is hard to find empty space. The younger sibling is not a considerate person. He bangs the door at night. He takes bath for an hour at least and the water is running all that time. 

But the real main reason is the way they treated me after all the things I do. I cleaned the house once a week. I clean the stove tops only for them to mess it again the next day. I even cleaned the bottom of the pans and pots that are full of hardened oil. But when they decided to raise the price, they make it as if it is all my fault. Do they even look after the house? Do they know if anything is leaking? Nope. They don't care. And they one-sidedly put all the blame on me? It is true that I and my neighbor are the ones who stay in this house longer than them, but it is not a valid reason to raise the rent price just because they think they are not in this house as long as we do. I've been here for just 4 months and in general people raise rent only after one year. And 30AUD pw raise? Even a seasoned landlord would not do that. So, fuck it. I took it as their way of kicking me out. 

One last good deed that I do is that I tell them that the water-heater unit is leaking, which I believe is the main culprit of their crazy electricity + water bills. However, it is what it is. I love the house, really. But I cannot stay with someone disrespectful as them.

Welcome to Koala-land

I'm currently in Australia (Brisbane) to pursue my PhD. I don't know if this is the right path for me. I did ask for this, I even prayed for it. But since the announcement of the scholarship (it was positive, otherwise I wouldn't be here at the moment), I have this terrible gut feeling that things are going differently. 

To be honest with myself, I got the scholarship, which is nice. I got a decent place (it is hella pricey, but okay). I have a communicative spv and co-spv (a post-doc) which is also nice. The air is good, the neighborhood, I have nothing to complain so far. But hey! Look at those prices! Damn it.

###

A little story about my departure. I had decided to fly to Brisbane on March 19th night, transit in Sydney on March 20th, and continue the flight to Brisbane in the afternoon on the same day. Tickets, passport, visa, all went well. I had my mom helped me with the moving out. 

I also bring my bike with me. Hence, I booked a flight with Garuda and Qantas all in one booking receipt. In short, it is supposed to follow Garuda rules and facilities (since I ordered from them). When I arrived in Sydney and transferring to the domestic flight to Brisbane, the Qantas people told me that I have to pay AUD 250 for the extra baggage. I showed them that I booked the flight from Garuda and thus it does not make any sense if Garuda allows me to bring X-kg of baggage + sporting goods (my bike) but the other flight charges me for that. I already acknowledged this and asked for clarification from Qantas in Indonesia, and yes, they told me that the domestic flight will follow the international one (Garuda) as it is under the same booking code.

The Qantas officer told me to get inside and talk to the sales which I did and for my surprise it was closed (lunch break). I asked another staff there and she pointed me to another one. She is Japanese and I will not mention her name here, but she is apparently from Nara! What a surprise. I told her that I studied there and I like that place as it is quiet and peaceful. She took me (notice that I use the word 'took') to the sales post, talked to the manager, and took me back to the domestic transfer. (We need to learn from Japanese service.)

In the domestic transfer, finally the one who told me to pay called one more time to the finance section asking if I can use someone else's card since they cannot take cash. So, the result is they let me go without charging a penny (as what they should from the first place, duh).

Once I arrived in Brisbane, I was picked up by free taxi service (campus service for new incoming students). I was looking for trolley to carry my luggage and bicycle box. Apparently, I need to pay AUD 4 just to use the fucking trolley. What a scam. Another help came when I asked the staff who was putting trolleys from all over the place back to the rail. "Does this machine accept cash?" I asked. No words from him but then he pulled a trolley from the one he was pushing and gave it to me.

I am writing this down to remember the people who helped me. I don't even know most of their names and have forgotten most I was once remembered. But their kindness stays. 

December

3 December

Went to Bogor by train. Didn't slept the night before. Recently I got really close to these 3 girls. One from English Literature dept in my campus (she is a lecturer) who apparently was close to the Head of Department where I am currently working at. The second one is the high-school friend of my college friend. She apparently works at the building where I teach. Lastly, my own student. Duh. I shouldn't make the last one in this list, but whatever.

From Bogor sta. she picked me up by car. She brought me some breads to eat. The first stop is the ATM. She needed to use the toilet and I needed to draw some money. Then, we wanted to go to Kebun Raya, however she changed her mind. So we had breakfast at the Sotomie Agih. 

After we had the Sotomie, she gave me the car keys asking me to drive. Well, I don't have any license, but she insisted. I never drove that type of car although I can drive most manual and automatic cars and motorbikes.

She asked me to drive to Kopi Nako. The trip there is quite, hmmm, challenging I can say. First off, the place is pretty high, and my parents never let me drive to the mountains and toll roads. But thank God I can still write this. The place itself is nice, but I hate the smokes! Fuck you smokers!!

We visited Sundanese resto that afternoon. We ordered pepes oncom, stir fried kailan and ginseng leaves. It started to drizzle by the time we were there. Then we talked a lot there. About the life, the depression, her family. Then we went to the ice cream shop near the place I teach (and her workplace) before finally she drove me back to the station. 

Arrived around 10-11 PM that night. What a day.

5 December

One old friend of mine asked me to go out after I teach that Monday. Apparently, he had to drove his wife to the office since she was 8 months pregnant. He was not going to the office that day, so he picked me up and we went to Bakmi Kb. Jahe. The serving was huge! I appreciate that. I would like to talk longer to him. However, since my bus back was almost departing, I had to go back to the campus.

8 December

I went to Gd. Serpong. Spent several days there at her place. So this is how it feels to have someone and live the way we wanted. Without anyone knowing, without a care about the world. A little world of us. We cuddled, we kissed. The next day she went to the campus, I stayed home and did the cleaning, not much, but I want to liberate her from small things that could've been improved. 

Saturday, we went to Bakmi Aswie. A noodle shop where they used 'ayam kampung' for the stock and I swear to God, it tasted amazing. After she 

Sunday, we went to the market to buy some veggies. We had shabu-shabu for dinner, and before we went to sleep, we watched La La Land, even though it was not finished. I guess she was so tired that day.

Honestly, I have no urge to write lately. It is like I don't want to rant here but shits keep coming (along with good stuffs). I really want to leave the office but I need the money. Perhaps I will take 6 months break and see what I can write from that point.

November

 6 Nov

A culinary date to the 'little tokyo' with my student. went to futago-ya, claypot popo, visited papaya, gandaria city, and finally ciputra mall. We were looking for bingsoo (Korean style shaved ice/parfait). The place in Gandaria city had closed. Thus we went to ciputra mall, but the Bingsoo was sold out!  

14 Nov

A whole day date with Ms. D before her boss returns to the campus. I love her smile. Her parents are divorced when she was around 20-ish. Seems like she wants to go back to Aussie.

Nothing much happens this month. I just simply didn't give a fuck about the campus event. Teaching? Nah, I totally lost it.